Don't need to be upset for how this long story ends. I choose this end as a symbolic way to cut up with Gorillaz and their world, so just consider the death of FaDe as my personal rebirth, hopefully mostly under the moral aspect.
Thanks to everybody who followed and liked my stories and I'm sorry to disappoint you telling that I won't write anything else Gorillaz-related, cause -since now- I am going on with my own project stories that you can read here.
Gorillaz was a great band, but they ended up in the commercial circle that they first declared to be against.
I still hope in a good movie and, maybe, in a good world tour; though this means that they'll be, once again, involved in a cruel commercial machine. And then... nothing.

.:Following the reasons of the S.I.C. stories:.

-The S.I.C. stories born when my friend Drack (who, in real life, is a girl) and I decided to create a funny story to make our corrispective "alter ego" meet the Gorillaz. We planned the general plot of the first and second story, then I continued this "trip" by myself, that's why you can see it's more pointed on Fade.

-Why does Fade choose to die. It's a thing I decided long time ago, even before to know how long and complicated the S.I.C. stories would have became. There was a long period of my life where I lived just waiting the day of my death. So that's what Fade does as well. I was desiring to die before I was 30 cause, I think, when you arrive to 30 years old, you have to look behind and enstabilish what you've done in your life. I already know that when I'll do it, I'll realize that I've never done anything useful in mine. That's why Fade decided to die at 29.

-As Fade, I believe that death is freedom and the end to all the preblems, that's why I easily "plaied" about the argoment in these stories, sorry if, contrarily, that made you upset.

-I made Fade dies for an ictus cause a person who was important for me died that way, for a stupid, little blood clot in the brain.

-I believe in the power of the mind in the positive and negative aspect of influence of the healt.

-I have a very confusionary conception of love.

-Fade's diary does really exist, it's a present of a dear friend of mine. Almost all the things Fade writes throught the story are thinkings I really wrote in my diary, few other diary's lines are invented to adapt them to the story.

-Since the beginning of this long story, I was convinced (and I still am) that this whole thing is just a pathetic way, I created by myself, to feel, at least for once, the sensation of being involved in a kind of love story or relation, cause I never had a real one. As Fade, I don't belive I have the qualities for being special for someone and after all those years I spent alone, I am firmly convinced that I won't get anymore the chance of being loved. Fade prefers to die instead admiting to herself and to Murdoc that she fell in love for him. She believes that she doesn't deserve love and happiness in her life, and so do I.

-BANG!! What's its meaning? This is inspired to the end of the animated series "Cowboy Bebop" (which I'm not spoiling!) .
For Fade imitate the shoot of a gun means to give a cut with the past.
In "The unerasable signs of past" she does as symbolic way to finally feel free from the sense of guilt she has with the boy she killed. In "fly" she does as choice to definetely cut up any feeling she has for Murdoc.

-I tried to kill myself twice, like Fade. The one that Fade descrived in "The choice" and the feelings she wrote in her diary in "Spirits", are the real sensations I felt.

-I don't consider myself as Fade, she's different from me, she has courage, determinations and a way of fighting life I never had. Fade is everything I would like to be. In the bad and in the good way...

-I have black and violet rollerblade as Fade, but of course I can't go on them so easily.

-I don't have the real conception of the family, that's why Fade killed her parents. Of course I didn't kill mine, but there was a long period of my life I desired they would never have existed..

-Fade, as me, tryes to forget her past, to "reborn" each time something bad happens to her, that's why she- and I- don't remember the faces of the people we met in our childhood and we refuse to try to remember them.

-One of the biggest dream on my life is that someone would write a song for me. That's why in "Spirits" I made Murdoc write a song for Fade. As in my real life it won't happen so easily, I find this way to feel the sensation of being really special for someone.

-The time and space gaps in "The choice" and "Celebrity after death" are made on purpose.

-Once, a smart friend of mine asked me: what's the meaning for Fade to fly.. die.. reborn... it doesn't make much sense.. She's right. Reborn for Fade (and for me) means forget something bad that have happened which had unbalanced the deepest feelings inside her and start again. The death is just the beginning of a new life. The sensation of flying is when you get free of all the bad things which weight on your soul. It's a sensation I need to feel everytime and I know it doesn't make much sense for the other people.

-The double ending of the sic stories is not inspired to the DARE video. I planned it long time before the second album came out..

-It took me a century to find a name for Fade and Murdoc's daughter.. first I thought to Desiree, but then I met a very annoying kid with this name (the typical annoying kid that I hate!!!) and I decided for something else! Then I decided for Aurora, but I still was unsure, someway. So I chosed Ariel, but Drack told me that in Argentina that's a male name (LOL), then she suggested me Daphne and I was going to keep it until in my choir (lalalala!) I sang some Beatles songs and among this one there was Michelle.. I liked the song so much that I decided for this name.. and that's also why in ""Celebrity after death" The Beatles are the soundrack of part of the story.
The name for Damian was chose from a nice girl who once sent me a fanart of Murdoc and Fade having a child and she named him Damian, so I kept this name.

-Jane Merrick is the real name I choose for Fade after I have seen the movie "Elephant Man". I often felt (and feel) like the protagonist of this story, so I wanted to give him this tribute.

.:Interesting facts episode by episode:.

*The shady call:
Panel 33: the doctor who called Fade “Stray cat” does exist, he's an important person in my life, who tried everything to care my wounds, without results, unfortunetly.
*A new beginning:
Panel 42: the real Drack is actually terrorized by spiders!
*Something about my life:
Panel 34: what Fade says about her cat really happend to me (apart the shrink thing).
From panel 42 to panel 47: this of course is a parody to the movie Spiderman!
*Everything bad happens to me I deserve it (part I): (This title is an original line from my diary)
Panel 08: the last drawing I made in this page... this is the position and the espression of my dear cat the day I found her dead in my room (without all the blood around). This imagine is sticked in my mind to torture me because I was not with her when she was dying.
*Nineteen Twothousand:
Panel 06: that's my real keyring and I use to tie it that way around my wrist.
Panel 11: the book that Drack bought for Fade (you will consider this stupid!) it's a manual to learn how to use Flash! I started using flash reading a cheap manual I bought from a bookstore and I applied what I lerned making my first gorillaz video (Left Hand Suzuki Method), and that's what Fade does as well. In the story, in the 4 months she is recovering, she draws the complete storyboard and then she starts to animate it!
Panel 19: if you were wondering: these words are by Murdoc.
Panel 24: in my diary there really is a white page among the dark ones.
*An unespected surprise:
Panel 09: the book of "The astral trip" is a book I really read and I translated its title in a very barbaric way! That should have been the introdution of the following story "Things you never knew about me". My original concept was to make Fade leave the Kong as a spirit and then get cursed, but I left this concept later, cause the story would have been too complicate.
*The nightmare part I:
Simo: Simo is a truly friend of mine, not actually a nurse but she really helped me on social life.
Mr Garfy: Mr. Garfy does eally exist, it's my fav plush, my brother presented to me when I was leaving to London. I guess it's the only sincere present my brother gave to me...
Anorexic: when I was 15 I have been anorexic, it wasn't for my desire of dying, it was because I always have been fat since I was a child and my condition made me very shy with the others, so, to be accepted by them I decided to lose weight by myself, until the day it became an illness. In my new skinny body I felt, finally, happy to share my life with the other friends. I was anorexic for two years, I guess, then everything change back, maybe because I lost my interesting to the friendship and its meaning.
Therapy: some facts of Fade's past really happened to me. The injections on my face and that mean doctor who shouted at me if I was crying. It was a theraphy I've got to revitalize the nerves of my face which don't work anymore, and of course it didn't work... Also the elettric discharge thing was a teraphy I've got and it just made the situation worse than before.
Rainy day and flying horses: those are drawings that I actually drew when I was younger.
Reply: I had some meetings with a shrink too when I was young. As Fade does, I never replied her very much, I just imagined to do it.. while I had to say so many things...
Beautiful soap opera: it's a question I wonder from years and I will never get the answer! LOL!
Blood: the fact that Fade spits blood is just a psychical condition (this didn't happen to me!), spitting blood makes her believe that she can get free from the poison she has inside.
*The nightmare part II:
Panel 09: Mr. Gary W. is a very mean person I met. He destroied my feelings and humilieted me, with his awful way of thinking tied to money. I swore to myself I will never be like him.
Panel 20: according to Gorillaz official biography, in the night of October 31st 2002, a nacked man was seen running out the Kong cemetery screaming... now you know what really happened! LOL!
*Things you never knew about me:
Panel 19: gotta explain this if you didn't understand: for more than one year the Gorillaz disappeared from the scene, so I had to invent a way to fill the big hole they left and find a good reason to make Fade loose the contacts with them. It took me a bloody lots of time but finally I find this solution: knowing that the Kong was built on a point of spiritual and magic influences I could made it a safe place from the curse that the father of Drack launched to all the people who met his son (forget immediately about Drack and everything related to him), so as soon as Gorillaz left that place (panel 22) they immediately forget about Drack and Fade (which is related to Drack, cause she came along with him), same when Fade leaves the Kong (People like me... panel 09) she immediately forgets about the Gorillaz, cause she knew them thanks to Drack. Her memory come back to the day she were assaulted and she was brang in the hospital ("How Drack meets Fade").
*People like me shouldn't have dreams:(This title is an original line from my diary)
Panel 15: the figure that Fade descrives in her diary is her reflection on the window.
Panel 17: the site, of course, is gorillaz.it!
Panel 18: according to the official biography in Rise of the Ogre, Murdoc escaped from jail building "a paper-maché version" of himself "using newspapers and some 'Welcome to mexico' brochures"... oh well, I drew this comic before reading this! XD.
Panel 22: well, this is the real concept of my video "sound check". The shot you can see online is just the first part of it, while in my mind I had the idea of showing, during the several scenes, the characater represented with "unconventional" animation tecnique, like acrilic on cels, sand animation, ink shaded sketches, etc...
At the end of the video they would come back as "normal, cleaned up and colored characters", but they shall be "complete" Gorillaz only when also they instruments would appear in their hands.
In my mind, all the video is planned, but it's slowly vanishing by the time, cause I have not enough tools and experience to bring what I have in mind to a video by myself.
Panel 23: ok, I was truly polemic with this. S4aS drove me mad, but I tried to never say out what I really think about that competition cause I don't want people think I say this only because I didn't win.That's no true.
Now that time passes and I am, contrarily, really happy that I didn't win, cause the prize, as my opinion, was a farce,
I can spit out what's in my mind.
First of all, they masked this competition as the great and totally disinterested opportunity to the people to show their talent to the world: I think that's true, I saw lots of interesting stuff, but also lots of rubbish and I agree with Noodle when she said "the real prize was the submission", but they can't deny that it was made also to relaunch the Gorillaz and mostly to rise up the numbers of visit to gorillaz.com. They really can't.
Second, I really can't believe that the "waking up" animation was beaten by "tablemanners",
the solutions are 2: or the author of "tablemanner" got more friends than all the gorillaz fandom together (which was on for the "waking up" animation) or the competition was kind of.. emh.. yeah I say... farce! There was not a real competition and there was someone who already chose the winner.
To rafforce my convintion I have those facts: the authors of tablemanner is a freelance animator (and I really think that they ignore that also the author of "waking up" is!); he is english, though he has a name that can make you think he's not (some people can think that this doesn't matter, but for me, it does!); the winner declared that he was very surprised to recive the news that he won, cause he didn't follow the competition at all, so maybe, he also didn't notify anybody about his video running.
And last, reading an interview to the video winner on gorillaz-unoffcial.com, he declared that the zombie flesh eaters asked him to send some of the animations he'd already done to assemble them on a gorillaz music they choose. This sound really suspicious to me. If this was the real intention of ZFE since the beginning, I guess they couldn't do if the winner was someone not profesionist.
********ANYWAY, I don't care anything of this! I'm happy how it has gone, cause I think a real Gorillaz fan would have been disappoint to have the grrrrreeeeeat opportunity of work for Gorillaz but not being allowed to draw the Gorillaz themselves! So that man was the right one to do! He did an animation I don't like at all, but everybody are happy for how it ended! I must admit that I really wanted a room at the Kong, but oh well... I got the room by myself in my stories! It's the room 15, second floor, near the kitcken and I bet if someone of ZFE read this will immediately change it to a broom closet, to make me disappoint! BWHAHAH!! You can do it, cause you will read this only after Fade's death! Gnegnegnegne!!!! Sorry.. cough cough! Returning back to the argoment.. another fact that drove me mad is the introducing of the 2 new categories for a winner in music and drawing.. I mean, as for me, they should have done it from the beginnig, I took this as a way to shut up the complains about the video winner to give the oppportunity to make win a gorillaz fan, also the fact that they changed the votation method (from "click who you want to eliminate" to "click who you want to win") made this competition really confusing. I hope they won't make a S4aS2!!!! If you want to reply this comment and give a different opinion or accuse me that I spoke only for jelousy you please, write it in my guestbook HERE.
Panel 24: what Russel says is surely referred to that stupid promotional stuff called Habbo Hotel! After a search, my friend found out that, mostly, only the people who were subscriber to Habbo from long time were allowed to enter in the cinema and make stupid questions to the band: "Noodle, do you like noodles?" OH COME ON GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Panel 31: I was at Manchester concert for real and I shouted BRAVOOOO while all the public was in silence! BWHAHAHAH! It wasn't as powerful as I make believe in the comic, of course! You can hear it here!! (Thanks G-U!)
Panel 32: tribute to my friends!
Toxic Girl, from g.it forums, Tyn, from g.it forums, Jur, lobotomypop.com, Dhenry, super mod of g-u forums, Munn, from g.it forums, Nietje, animator of "waking up" shot, Nanci, true Murdoc lover, Caval, the queen of mushrooms (the ones she sniffes!! LOL!) from g.it forums, Dee and Deathcube, from g.it forums, 2J, webmaster of g-u.
Panel 33: Continue!
The real Drack! (who came with me at the concert), the real me! XD, Lina, true 2D lover, Munn again!
Panel 35: I actually know that the Gorillaz live in Essex, but sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it!
Panel 40: Gorillaz really did as testimonials for clothes in US maxim magazine
*Spirits:
Panel 03: Fade wears the same dress she had in "Treat for Satan", which, for some weird reasons I can't explain, she kept.
Panel 05: the dream that Murdoc is talking about is, of course, being in the same bed with Shaun Ryder!! Anyway, since in each pic I see Murdoc's eyes have always different colors, (plus on ROTO they say he has brown eyes!! p.294) I start thinking that they will pop out that he uses color lenses!
Panel 28: many people asked me why I choose an unicorn with broken horn and bleeding eyes as 2D's spirit. Well, not any particular reason, actually, for each member I chose an animal that I felt it would match. For 2D I choose the unicorn cause I feel his soul special, like a rare or mithologic animal, but the accidents he got, wounded his spirit that way. To make the thing more dramatic I also imagine that the place it lives is now only a big lake of blood that it's coming from its fractured eyes.
Panel 68: from my sick mind, in this panel Noodle is explaining an idea she had for El Manana video and she suggest to use again her windmill for it. In the last three drawings, the others agree to her idea, then Murdoc tells to Noodle and Russel to notify Hewlett about, and he tells to 2D to follow him, cause he wants to record the song he wrote. So, Noodle grins at Russel hurry him up cause, always in my sick mind, she knows that Hewlett is surely killing himself to find a good idea for the new video!!
I planned this comic before reading Rise of the Ogre and only now I know the real story behind the making of El Manana, I still prefer my version, though!
*Pages of existence torn away from life:(This title is an original line from my diary)
Panel 03: the girl asking 2D to marry her is my sweet friend Pixie! (Sorry I forget to put you at the Manchester appareance!)
Panel 34: with the return of Gorillaz the band turned being tied to alot of adverts and promotions, Hewlett sold original drawings and prints, and stuff like that (unfortunetly they didn't fire the "good for nothing" who work for them! BWHAHAHAH!), next, I discovered all of this was necessary to rise up money to put up the three dimentional shows, which was veeeery expensive, and the NY gig. Anyway in this story, I wanted to change the needing of collecting money for a more noble cause: my rescue! (Yeah, right! Murdoc would really spend all these money for someone else! But let me dream!)
Panel 35: "Search for a sobstitute" BWHAHAH! Another polemic to S4aS, anyway, they really had courage to call someone to work for free behind the stage.. I couldn't believe...
Panel 37: TwoD sitted talking at the phone is my personal parody to a drawing that Hewlett originally made.
Panel 38: Damon Albarn really missed a tooth... now you know how! BWHAHAH!!
Panel 40: Jamie Hewlett really won £25.000 as "designer of the year" ...too bad he couldn't enjoy his prize! LOL!!!
Panel 46: Murdoc actually read Fade's diary, you can find it out comparing the tie of the pack with the one that Mark gave to Murdoc (panel 14), that's the reason why he becames more permissive with her.
*FLY:
This is a story that I decided to delete from the general plot cause it doesn't really make much sense as I thought it as a cartoon based on a sountrack. I added it back cause it was the only story that contained one of the most important scene of the plot: the "bang"! (which is reprised later on "Fade out" and "Celebrity after death")
Panel 20: this should be a scene a little dramatic, but when I drew it I didn't realize that I made Murdoc takes the jeep to go away (you can see I wrote the "vroom" of the motor) but he's actually half naked! BWHAHAHAH! Oh well... that's Murdoc! I suppose he would do something like that!
*Fade out:
This story is ready since 2003 but I had to redraw it completely cause in 2004 Gorillaz rebuilt the Kong and trashed the old winnebago! In the original story, in the hospital sequence, there were also 2D, Noodle and Russel, but -as everybody knows- Noodle is still disappeared somewhere, while 2D and Russel are trying to find "fortune" around, like they point out in Rise of the Ogre, so the only soul around the Kong at those days is Murdoc (and Fade of course! I wonder why in Rise of The Ogre they keep forgetting about me! WAHAHAH), soooo for all these reasons, this story involves only Fade and Murdoc. Mercy!
Panel 05: during all the story, Cortez is very pissed off cause nobody feed him!
Panel 43: with the phrase "everything you throw in the sea comes back to you", Fade properly talks about the pollution of the Earth, meaning that all the waste we drop on the sea (and generally everywhere) will be found again in the food we eat.
Murdoc throws her diary on the sea cause he symbolically wants her coming back to him (but don't let him know I told you!).
The fact the diary doesn't fall in the water is an extra symbolic way to say that she will not.
Surfing through the memories gallery:
Panel 38: pic2 = Fade in (panel 04); pic3 = Nineteen Two Thousand (panel 04); pic4 = Something about my life (panel 28); pic5 & pic6 = random stuff.
Panel 39: pic2 = Treat for Satan (last panel); pic3 = Drunk (panel 12); pic4 = Things that you never knew about me (panel 04); pic5 & pic6 = Drunk (panel unknown!).
Panel 40: pic1 = FLY (panel 23); pic2 = Pagine di esistenza... (panel 27); from pic3 to pic6 = random stuff.
Panel 41: pic1 = Random stuff; pic2 & pic3 = The rain (random scene); pic4 & pic5 =random stuff; pic6 = FLY (panel 31).

*The choice:
Panel 09: this is exactly what I think about Gorillaz ignoring their fans! Post more in that damn forum!
Panel 18: the man who saves Fade is another person that I met in my life, he didn't save my life for true, but I wanted him do in the comic, cause, someway, I consider him a rescuer and a wise person who's always behind me.
Panel 35: this patethic scene is for introduce the doubt of Murdoc about Fade's feelings.
Panel 37: Murdoc, obiously, says "keep control" to himself! LOL!
*Celebrity after death:
Panel 06: I actually didn't know that Damian (or Damien) was the name of the son of Satan in the movie Omen!
Panel 10: the comic that Fade is reading is "Dampyr", a comic that I really read and like!
Panel 27: considering I planned this story since 2004, I am still wondering if I copied this scene from "El manana" or if "El Manana" copied it from my mind!!



Replying to the most frequently asked question: "There's love between Murdoc and Fade, or not?
In my stories, between Fade and Murdoc there's a tie that goes beyond the simple superficial feelings.
Murdoc is not in love with Fade, everything he does for her is not moved by affection, he does just because he knows what's going on inside Fade's brain, he kinda feels she doesn't want being loved, so he just follows her intimate desire.
Fade, contrarily, is in love with Murdoc, but she keeps refusing this feeling for the rage she feels for herself.

.:Translation of Noodle's phrases:.

*The shady call: panel 22: "Why can't I keep the dog? I will bring him out, I will give him food!! YOU ARE THE DOG!!!"
*The new beginning: panel 06: "BUTTERFLY!!!!" - "MISS IT!!!"; panel 08: "GOTCHA!!!" - "WHOAH!! It's a ton weight butterfly!!"
*Fade in: panel 31 : "THERE'S A THIEF AT THE KONG!! NOODLE SAYS: CAGE HER!!!!!"
*Something about my life: panel 09: "GET HIM!" - "Let me hug you!" - "Now It's time for a bath!"; panel 10: "Noodle loves Pusama!!!"; panel 45: "THAT MAN IS A SPIDER!! HE ATE A FLY AND CLIMBED THE WALL AND HE MADE A NET!!!!!"
*The nightmare part II: panel 03: "There's no freedom on keeping escaping..."
*The broken ring: panel 01: "Gorillaz hits the road!!"; panel 03: "Let's keep in touch!"

Peace and love... but mostly... peace!
FaDe